Also,

I won’t curse myself for what I’ve done today. I shouldn’t. I can’t.

But making an apology to others is another thing. And I am willing to do so. And yes I will, tomorrow.

Quotes From Steppenwolf

“Poetic writing can be understood and misunderstood in many ways. In most cases the author is not the right authority to decide on where the reader ceases to understand and the misunderstanding begins. Many an author has found readers to whom his work seemed more lucid than it was to himself. Moreover, misunderstandings may be fruitful under certain circumstances.”

(Hesse. from “Author’s Note 1961″. Steppenwolf. Translated from the German by Creighton, Basil. Revised by Sorell, Walter)

Awake and Resolutions

Thanks to that I got good friends with their desires and some optimistic views, I think I finally viddy clearer again that I actually want to do what thrills me to do.

Guitar/ Heine in German/ Movies/ Music making/ London-whatever it means/ Tokyo-whatever it means/ Visiting Skagen/ Hug trees/ Photo shooting with the use of sets and lighting/ Make an experimental SFi film/ etc.

Ingredients

Curry Powder
Coriander, Turmeric, Masterd, Chilli, Cumin, Fenugreek, Fennel, Black pepper, Garlic, Curry Leaves, Salt

Pickled mushrooms
Mushrooms
Celery lamina
Onions
Vinegar and wine (I used apple cidre vinegar and cider this time)
Black pepper corns
Rosemary
Pickling spice mix
Salt
Water

Watercress paste
Watercress
Parmesan cheese
Garlic
Olive oil
Salt

Belgian endive and Roquefort Salad
Roquefort
Sour cream
Yogurt
Worcestershire sauce
Lemon juice
(Salt and pepper if needed)

Endives
Apples (or mushrooms and yogurt+lemon marinated raisins as substances)
Walnuts

Fever.

IMGP1363, originally uploaded by The.Nomi.

Maybe it’s my enigmatic super genkidesuness in these three days that weirds me out but I don’t know if this optimistic-ish, kind of motivational, almost very relaxed, free and easy sensation that I have is something temporal or that it would often come in my mind again. –I am somehow having myself in the very intensive excitements that make the way I move/think oddly uplifted and insanely cheerful.

WANT to make movies or at least something that I can perform whether it helps making my living expenses or not.

An absolutely stunning fact about myself for myself.

I’m an amazingly optimistic dumb, every where, in every situation.

Mmmmmhrrrr.

I’ve been missing all the little excitements recently.

Failed to study what I want when I want to. Failed to have a short trip by my motorcycle during the summer. Failed to go swimming/hiking. Can’t see a friend till like next year or so. Can’t go to Brazil on October because of skooooool though it seems like a good chance to get there.

And I didn’t want to go to school today just because I didn’t want to.

I… do… need to flee… from this… smthng.

SO, Can’t stop dreaming of 2days trip!

This time, I am sure that I’m making progress.

The project of arranging my room as a better office is going well. I’ve spent most of my free time to do it. 部屋がキリッとしてきた。 And, eventually I realised the importance of having a desk and chair–yeah, actually, I knew it, but there is a problem to have a new chair; although my room isn’t quite big, I already have two piano chairs because the room is also used for piano lesson. So, I don’t know if I have enough space to put another chair. yikes.

Anyway, the next step is to get the mini desk. woo hoo

My Brain Works!

IMGP5932, originally uploaded by Nomi The Nomi.

Holiday… holiday, my holiday, my thirty-days long summer holiday has finally come. And, I’m doing better than usual despite I had been worrying since the end of the last holiday, that if I’m going to have a dimly dull dingy dumb summer again.
…Almost missed the chance to see a friend for the last time in Tokyo at least while this year; mooreoverr, not gonna see anyone in England, BUT, I am doing fine in these three days, my holiday, started from the 1st of August 2009. ‘Cause somehow I feel okay with myself, being busier, having no time to take photos, still procrastinating several things at once, but moving easier and freely, discovering possibilities that I might have in the next moments more quickly and more optimistically, etc.
Holiday! Get things around tidied-cleaned up! Take naps! Get great sleeps! Walk! Run! Read! Work! The plan for tomorrow?: buy some bookshelves then make my room a better environment for a living human being!

–In short, I’m fine.

In this late morning

In my dream,

I was talking to my grandmother, just like a typical frustrated young person,

But in English,
And in capital letters.

Then,
I feel happy to know that it was just a dream.